MY Camp DAy in Kg Jahang-Gopeng,Kampar Perak

It's been alot of fun and enjoyment last week SAturday & SUnday..eventhou it's a very short of leisure time but it's been a very wonderful moment that I can remember after being so quiet these few months.





We went to Kampar (Kg Jahang,Gopeng Perak) for camping & adventures actually, It was Kak reha (FF gym member) that invited us to join the event and because me & cilla had discuss that we will go together with Lily & Uchop. at 1st scary jugala coz..ndak kenal org sgt dlm group tu..semua masi baru2 kenal. Even Kak reha pun kami baru kenal.few of my colleagues in the office which in gym also joining the event.


Afterall, i think i might want to follow this activities to make myself forget about all that happened a few weeks ago. It's time to heal and be medicated.

The journey start on Saturday morning. and End in Sunday EVening.We wait for bus at Kelana Jaya LRT station. it's a very 'kampung' feeling when arrived in Kampar, feel like i'm at home..at KK. feel like i'm in my own village.Very chilling and very calm. everythings came with breezy and warm feeling..,so , nice view..We arrived at ADeline rest HOuse in Kg Jahang. The place that make me see the real kampung resort ...and the kampung identity far from the feeling in KL.


i like it alot! it feel like there's another small''kampung' in tat area.even toilet... also ..like in kampung, the atap house, the camp canvas.wah...make me miss it now.

we have our own canvas outside the camp area. the camp was so small that making me feel like i'm so big ..can't fit into it. 3 person in one camp. huh,..ngam2 camp with Cilla & Lily in one canvas...so, it's a challenge for us 3 to make ourself fit into the camp. sempat tu mmg la ada but mm..i think ..okla coz i can experienced it after long time not joining camping.

I attached few photo from the trip..

1st day, we joined the jungle trekking in Bukit Cantik but..but..we unable to join till peak. coz..i'm afraid of 'height' and 'pacat' hahhaha....gayat satu hal la. Pcilla pulak..pun gitu..penat & takut tinggi..sampai 'terkapus kapus' ni jalan. So, kami 4 org turun la dari ..kaki bukit..naik sikitja. Lily pun join kami sekali, dia punya kasut..tidak mengizinkan..jalan lagi jauh. another gitl,.namanya shereen..new friend that we got to know too.

the 2nd day..ada jugak ,activities..rafting, waterfall absailing , waterfall lunch..huhuh..tu sedap..yg kami yg ndak join..rafting & absailing, kami pi mandi waterfall. So Best!!!! i like it!Water was so cool..~~


Pastu mkn lunch di tepi waterfall..pastu mkn durian. bestnya! sedap gilak! manis!
Then, after that...sudah mandi2 in waterfall and lunch and makan durian, we went back to the camp! it's time to get ready , get pack and ready to go home. We'll have to wait for the others to get back from their water absailing ..lepas dorg balik dari water rafting.



it's been a really fun time at there althou there was few unwanted...awkward moment with 1 of the ' D' 's member cum darling was there. It's very pity to know that our friendship become like this- like you don't even know her anymore. Yupps...it's very..very sad but, to tell the truth, it's over now. I just don't want to think of these people anymore, making me headache & making me feel like I'm a being a friend whom them don't even appreciated/

but it's okla. as long as ...i'm happy being there..and my friends happy..it's all worth it..

KAMPAR ROCK.!!.AND i met some ..of The SAbahan too at there..CIO..la kunun!hahakk. I dun know why, i feel glad & relief to knew SAbahan people coz..they are my real true 'same country' ..same thinking of friends that easy to make friends. They are more caring, more understand, more down to earth people & humble in their ways. Most of Sabahan are being themselves, none 'cimplak'..and nothing much of betrayal in their life, accept for those yg sudah telampau pentingkan diri tu, maybe la dorg tu jahat kan?! They accept every challenges in their life with patience, not 'revenge' , they being hardworking & always being the tough human being in life and never complaint much on what they do. I respect these type of people, coz somehow..myself also don't have such positive attitudes in life, but they do. Macam 1st time la dtg KL, i'm always not use to the cultures in here, but what to do, when living a huge city & dealing with diferent kind of harsh & hypocrite people, you also have to be with the crowds & have to be one of them in order to protect ourselves from being 'BULI' .That's LIFE!

they are the guides ..for all the activities..there. very tough guys!! yuhuu..
sempat jugakla..kenal kenal dorg..but not all la ..i think there are 7 or 8 guides yg keja disana..RIVERBUG...

so, ada jugak jumpa org SAbah..kio..Best jugak! how small the world are ..actually. Org SAbah bole keja until sanaaa.....Kampar,Perak. betul2 unexpected! Cheers to Urang SAbah bah..kio!!
ARAMAITI!!

THE HAPPY BUT SADDY DAY..THE CLUBBING..

On Saturday night (4/7), kami keluar dgn zarina ke SUnway ,EUPHORIA MOS club,. MUla2nya planning to go to HArdRock KL again but when all discussed and LIly pun agree if pigi dekat2..like in Damansara, The Curve ka ..exp-THe Santuary or The Scarlet, maybe dia bole lagi ikut. BUt suddenly. dia call...dia ckp can't follow bcoz Husband dia sudah balik rumah. So Zaza Make a new plan tog o somewhere new la. It's a new club that we never visited & it was kinda' awkward event too la..bcoz..of some unexpected event happened. We having alot of fun and drunk fwe times of ABSOLUE VODKA BLUE which we shared among 4 person-Mickey,KS( Zaza's best friends) Me, & Cilla.. but Zaza didin't drink alchohol at all la..! She always being the innocent one in our group and I'm so glad she being able to make herself feel comfortable with us that time eventhou ..we are all so much call drunk at the end of the party.
I was having greAT DAY..I thoughts..but ..when during the end of it, when after this CHInese guy( dun know who..keep hugging and 'tarik2' me..that time) companion was over, I begin to cry..and I don't know why...BUt I CRIED! I laugh at the moment and dance alot that night until the early morning but I cried...at the end of the 'show'...I can't believe I cried.
I did feel satisfied when dance and dance all night long that time, having the Absolute Vodka for the last glass- it's too much of alchohol without enough 'mixer' (Sprint la...that time..)so, the drink kind of more 'kick' than the 1st time we drink it.
Suddenly..after that long ...Music for end of the day..just for fwe of us left that time at the dance floor, when I stop playing around with them...and tired of dancing, My tears ..begun to drop bit by bit, and it's started to 'rain' . I sit down at one of the sofa beside the dance floor & I drop my upper body to my knee and sooner ..I know the cry become more worst! I heard Zaza said, "Org Mabuk Selalunya akan Nangis ker', she asked either Cilla or Mickey that time and it kind of making my tears become more...out. I swipe it over and over, but it can't stop ending.
When I realised, my heart bcome so much in pain that time, I let my innersense control my body and my mind..I wanted to cry actually since before and I needed to cry bcoz to tell the truth, I was sad..I never stop thinking even a minute for all that happened. It all happened.. in few minutes, either it bcoz of my own family problems, financial, work or bcoz of friends.....
I know all the while I have problems..and the current one had making me feel more sad.
Nangis...Sampai time tu, I DRUNK! I never drunk like that time before in life when went to any club. I did knew I laugh , I have fun and great enjoyment but I never think I will get drunk & at the same time I crying..
Now i know..that when you are drunk, ppl said it will making you letting out all those feeling you have before from deep deep inside in the heart. Maybe that time, I feel for all the problems- by all these Friendship things, the words from Rizal's email, The friendship betwn 3 of them, my family, my works, my financial , my own life....
I feel it's still not complete yet. I feel if in unsettle place.
I dun want Zaza to think alot about all these that happened, I don't want her to feel worst for everyday of her life for thinking of what happened now. With all the 'broken frienship' that had been goin on around here..with the dwen,Rizal & Linda problems..it's just not worth for he to think about it,coz i know she need to concentrate on her life, works & her BJ class..,
i knew from her sour face, I knew she feel the same way like Me & cilla felt- felt so sad, so tense & so..in dilemma from our own's friends betrayal.
As friend, I want to help even I know I can't help myself. I dun want her to stay 'away' frm us bcoz..it's pity to know..that the one friend that left in that grouup-ZAZA had also fade away.
It's kind of hurt if it does happen! Can't accept it anymore if it's yet to come..
MY tired & 'Red' face was around the 'uploaded photo' in FB for the event in EUPHORIA. Can see my teary eyes at the end of the photo and I have to put those 'fact' smile to cover my sour ^ red faces. I 'm really glad that these friends was there for me that time- when I cried,..when i was sad, when i was feeling down!, When the other friends enjoying their fullfil time together& spending their quality time..I do wish the BEST FOR THEM coz..now , i know...when you sad and if you found out there's a friend who can stand by you at your side, then ..youu'll be glad to know that GOD had send his 'ANgel' to comfort you..And i know..I have that friends in my life before & i still see few of them in my life NOW~Thank TO GOD, He send me.. such nice friends in this world to make me feel motivated. I'm glad..

THE HURTFUL FRIENDSHIP....

Monday (29/6/09)- The most shocking and hurftful day of my life since I remembered. The day where I knew the meaning of friendship, a friendship that I thoughts was worth fighting for. A friendship that I'd been telling about since 4 mths ago. A friendship that I thought as in sincere way, friendship that I thoughts will be everlasting as long as we live on.

A few weeks ago, I had typed in My IPOD...expressing how greatful I was to be friended with 'them'...and how we 've been surviving thru the whole 'drama' since the case in Genting Highland. I thought everythings will be going fine. I thoughts my problem with Adik Rizal will end after his Birthday Party in Bubba Gump,The Curve. This is the IPOD notes that I typed since 2 weeks ago and thoughts to insert in myblog, just to express myself after all the things happened lately...but pity...it's just a thing that won't be in good way anymore:-

" I think it's been awhile since I wrote my own agenda.I want to share my thoughts & feeling for these few weeks but I could't , bcoz I dun have enough freetime to type in myblog. I fall sick since last Sunday & it had make me feel so lazy to start typing.Today, I feel that I had keep it to much for myself, I type this inside my IPOD so that it will be easier for me to include myblog. These few weeks had open my eyes into somethings new, somethings wonderful..yupss, the new line of stories in my episod. A new friends...A new drama. I knew them just a few months back in FF-gym..roughly I knew them for abt 4 mths ago, they look friendly, nice , spontaneous, fun & happy friends..& I like to be their friends so much......."

That was the previous notes that I've thinking to update myblog. But as I received the 1st email in Facebook -from a sender that I have been care for- Adik R..I dun remember why I call him as 'ADIK' but..I did..coz..I always think him as my own lil' bro..but on that Monday, It had change my way of thinking and he hurt myheart so much until I dun know what to say.
An Email that he typed after reading my email that I sent to him, L & D on last weeks. I sent them that email to express about how I feel for them in these few months and what happened during the time when cilla & me got to know that Z had invited them for dinner at Old Town & we are out of it. I did ask R, and he did told me about it but he felt that i's unnessary for Z to tell us about that thing since he said it had already passed and since he feel that it will only making thing worst - dun want me & cilla to be 'sentap' ( terkejut /marah)....
R..told me that time that he piss off, and D was mad..at Z for telling me & cilla. I dun know why they are too piss off, coz it suppose to be us who piss off about it, but instead of us...they are the one that have too much of the drama. To tell the truth..me & Cilla of cos..'terasa' jugak ..but ndakla sampai mau ckp..'anti- for Z'..or want to ruin her life..by ignoring her, bcoz I knew she had told us and it's really a big ..big..appreciation..that she had told us eventhou after the date. I appreciated too for R & D concerns that time, but I didn't hope for them to get too much of angry or piss off of Z coz.. ..I knew we are OK with it atleast..but still R macam mau sgt nampak sia 'sentap' jugak..asyik2 tanya benda2 yg mau buat sia rasa utk marah dgn planning Z bawak dorg makan di OldTown tu. I knew..i feel sentap at 1st coz..L, my dearly girl pal,officemate pulak ada disana..even dia tau & satu office pun dia ndak ckp dgn kami..why?? dgn alasan, dia takut kami sentap lagi..is it?? I hate that word'sentap' la..dun know why! it's kind of eating my skin!!
I remembered back what R had informed me about the planning that he want to do....to..Z..when i knew it..i feel like it's like too much! ..it's like a very sick plan..and it can ruin this friendship..
his plan was so 'bad' that I had to tell him ..not to do it! Bcoz I dun like him to do it! He feel that he hate to join...the class. And I was so..confuse by his attitudes! what does he mean by that? What he want to do if the things had already happened..it happened la, can not reverse the time mahhh..but as friend, dia pun patutnya ..bole ckp dgn kitaorg awal2..about Oltown tu but dia ndak ckp! kononnya..ndak mau kasi kecewa kami ..KONONNYA LA! After all, yg sia ckp...kalu bole just bagitau jala..kalu mau ckp terus terang, cakap jala,buka mulut and cakap. BUkan sia terus mau marah dia kalu dorg sudah terus terang kan>? Am I being too direct or them for being so 'pendingkan diri sendiri'???

The email yg R typed..Cilla was there when I read it at the first line. But I didn't inform her bcoz I dun want her to be angry when reading what he typed in it. IEvery words hd bringing me into tears and every parts of it had change my feeling into somethings I call as 'KILLING ME SOFTLY' words..Some of it even make me so painful..like knife stabbing into my heart. It unacceptable!! Even email sia bagi dgn dia pun tedala sampai 'menjudge' dia mcmtu..but, dia ckp tu ayat2 semua mcm dia sudah cukup kenal sia sampai bole ckp bukan2 and bole judge sia ..mcm2! BAru sia kenal sia R sebenarnya..selepas email tu. Selama ini, sia ndak pernah ambil kisah pun apa yg dia buat dgn kami, apa yg dia tipu..apa yg dia cover cakap dia selama nie.
BAru Sia sedar how stupid I am to give chances to such people like this..how hurful it was to trusted and keep trusted ...eventhou ..she had been so much of lying and being a 2 faces..friend all the while.
I even hate ..L for doing the same things...She even forget we are even friended before this ...and now she being so comfortable with these type of guy friends..whom she think good.
R even judge me by giving me the title 'ANgel & TUhan' ...dia ckp..my expectation towards them are too over..being like Angel & Tuhan..dia ckp..sampai mcmtu sekali..just imagine mcmna selam nie si bole ..percaya yg dia akan berubah?? Sia just ndak sangka yg R bole type sampai demikian rupa. Apa yg sia ckp dlm email sia utk dorg sampai dia bole judge sia teruk2 mcmtu?? Sia ndak pernah sebut pasal..personal things, about ...sia kena kan org???sia nie pentingkan diri sendiri....sia jahat....L tu jer yg baik..L yg akak paling baik yg dia pernah jumpa..
habis sia nie Apa..masa dia kenal sia 1st time?? I never saif I'm an angel or God..for all of my life..for helping and understanding people. I had being so petience and I know I 'm being me when it come to my'dignity'.... Even I sacrifies my dignity (maruah) for them 3 just because i hope this friendship will work out. I'm so glad to know them..and this is what I get. To tell the truth, L -my girl pal from the 4 yrs of being friend with her had changed- she not the one that we knew 4 yrs ago. She being so in her world to be with R & D until she don't remember me & cilla again. I dun mind she keep have outting with the 2 guys and keep 'fetching' and sending them home- like friends for benefits way...but, look what it done for us for letting ourselves vulnerable to them?? I never ask for anything in this world rather than this friendship. What is my fault for letting them entering mylife?
Yg paling menyakithati bila R typed ini..ayat :-

"sy paling2 benci bila org katakan sy guna kan org lain utk kepentingan sy sendiri, tau x, sy tumpang akk L n D tu sbb umah kitaorg 1 haluan, klu jauh n xsehaluan, sy xde nak tumpang kete dia wlpun dia yg sanggup hantar…. Pasal benda akk L kasi tu mcm kek, dia xpenah pun ungkit, semua tu ikhlas dr dia n sy xmintak pun...."

-He judged me....about ungkit-mengungkit??since when I ungkit benda2 pasal....yg sia buat baik, ndak kena balas baik pulak?? Look at his words..I was thinking...How come I never even say and do this thing, he said and claimed it that way. Bila mas yg sia ckp dia gunakan org lain utk kepentingan sendiri dlm email sia haritu?? Sia pikir betul2 and read back what had i wrote..nothing involved with that words!!! And you know, it's suck to know that he talk about it..!
MMg siatau dia menggunakan orgpun..sia diam ja..sia ndak pernah mau sebut depan dorg 3 nie..sia tau pun sia pretend that like i'm 'stupid person' to not knowledge about it! What more than he want me to do?? like I'm picking up' his 'SHIT' ...cover for him, trusted and being there for him when he needed a ''friends' to understand him..but at the end..dia sanggup cakap ayat2 nie ..sekali lagi..i was being a 'puppet's all these while. They never know about how I feel, Never understood whe n I said about honesty, about ...friendship..about being fair, loyal and ..about sharing..nothing of these matter to them Coz..as far as I see, they only care about theirselves..and for being so in 'WONDERLAND' AND NEVER NEVER LAND..for being so in Happy ..and FUN time. They never bother to be there for their friends who needed them when they are in sad, misreable time..did they ??? They had been comfortable in their 'kepompong' ( in their circle of friends)..selalu keluar sama2..selalu balik sama2...selalu kemana sama..even bila L ajak or D ajak..R ..sentiasa akan setuju..! Why? But Why everytime kalu I ajak..R tak pernah nak ikut>? alasannya byk sampai..I cuba nak faham dgn masalah yg dia ada skrg..i never force him to follow us..coz I know..He just don;t want to be with me or cilla..
I know bcoz we dun have transport to fetch and send him back..!! I know ..we can't giving him what he want it his ...list..to be fair..with all his friends. Sia betul2 rasa terpinggir..sangat! Apa salah sia at 1st place yg dorg sampai..begitu pemilih utk ..agree dgn apa yg sia ..plan utk keluar?? utk makan bersama?? semua tu ..sia rasa sia dah ckup...bagi sia INDICATION that they DON'T LIKE TO BE FRIEND WITH ME! In what reason....??bilang sia .. mengongkong??Bila masa sia mau sgt kongkong in what they do together?? I know I want my own space too..i want to be with my other friends too. ..and they have their own life too.. If dorg ckp ndak dpt jalan, sia ndak jugak sampai paksa mati2..for them to go out with me..but why ..and why..they ...don't understand that?? I'm being ..sentap at 1st place..coz the 3 guys..lied about what they did at the back and told me different things infront of me..that time I dun asked for them to be honest all the time,but atleast.. some' logic things' kalu dah on the spot..benda tu dorg yg msg I dorg yg call..I tanya sia dimana time tu..apa sia buat time tu..and then..semuanya sia jawap dgn jelas and ..true..(terus terang)..i just logically think that they also did the same way! Tapi lain yg dorg ckp..dorg tipu..apasal?? Napa dogr nak tipu kitaorg apa dorg buat tat time? Pigi tguk movie among themselves- 3 guys..>..SO, apa problem sgt utk bagitau dgn sia terus trang? Macam la sia mau ikut sangat dgn dorg 3 org tu??Hegeh2 sgt ka sia mau buat mcmtu..but itupun dorg bole tipu..masing2 ckp benda lain. J dgn alasannya..balik keja lambat, parent dia dtg..(siap guna nama Parent lagi..apa tu??u gunakan nama parent ..tu..u sedarker??) and R guna...alasan dia pun lambat keluar office,keja lambat..and dia mau balik rumah sudah.
Tuka kawan yg sia sanjung selama nie?? J ...sia tau dia terpaksa buat mcmtu..sia tau dia pun bukan a 'liar' sgt..but do i need to do it like what they did to us..like that??What kind of 'bridge'
that they did want to make if they ..lied??i don't understand..! sampaila bila sia dpt tau dgn org yg dorg anti..sgt..sampai dorg marah?! who to blame??

Only GOD Knows why ..i feel this way ..and now i want to reveal it....for the last.
And again..this are the personal thing that I said earlier..who are him to judge me..in my life? Do I want to judge his personal life ..with his Ex too??like he did these words?? It had kill me ..deep down !! I can't take it anymore...I just can't..!

"awk tau, knp awk single mcm ni… sbb perangai awk mcm ni… patut la ex awk tinggalkan awk…klu sy jadi bf awk pun, sy dh lama cabut…"

- i know in my life...there was few captures of bad relationship I had with guys..and this is one of it! I'm speechless..when I read this part! and I think of myself as so 'dumb' to trust such guys whom I treated as my bro said this words. Like he know me so well..he can said it directly..
kind off tearing my heart apart...to look at it andmake me think..should I be more patience than before..? This is the time that I had make my decision..-TO end up this bonding..I can't keep pretending to accept it..like before !..i can't sacrifies my dignity again for more than 3 times..in mylife! I gave the 'blank' chances & trust ..to a 'blank hearted ' people whom I barely know, whom just don;t know me well but keeping saying the harsh words, whom judging me by what they see, not by truth! Enough is enough! My life was enough of pain & hurt..and I never wish to have it again..! I sacrifies everythings for them and they never even know about it..my time, my surrounded life, my works, my other friends, my patience, toleration, my dignity (which i mentioned earlier), my tireness, my care & love..my honesty..
What are the reasons for me to get such 'insult' ?? Did I hurt them like they hurted me before? I never care if they are keen to be my friends..as long as i know..i had showed my 'sincere' to be their friends..i had being..the' puppets' to accept all the 'bullshit' that they throw to me! all the 'shit' that i pick up for them.

If i'm being the most hated and irratating human in this world, why on earth I want to understand the difficulties that R having currently? why on earth I want to help him to understand..those matters? I want to keep his lying about his own ..works in the office? about his status? his work position? his life as a higher qualification ..graduate or as person with no qualification? with a high ranking position but is actually..the different way around? Did i ever question his life in a rich people world or in poor people worlds?? DId i ever ask for 'return' when I gave him the birthday gift and the 'key chain'? DId i parade these all things out there?? Have I be the most sensitive person to 'betrayed' my own friends ..by 'bitching' around like what they did to me? I ask myself..is it worth to fight for this type of 'dramatic' frienship..or I just let it go for better? My answer had been given..earlier. To End it Well..in order to make them feel glad & happy. I have no choice..bcoz...i know it will only making both side. ....look bad..and it will keep on making me feel dissapointed and frustrated.And it will only making cilla even more 'mad'and ...geram..for me & she will keep..helping me to protect my feeling from hurting.

So.. iT's the end ..of a 4 mths friendship..these whole months really had tested me...either in good & bad side of it.I pray so hard for God to let them be happy and let me be 'peace' again.
I had cried alot..and i had ..my feelind being hurt before...I just can't take it anymore. I have alot to thing again besides this 'chaos' and I can't concentrating in all of it in 1 time. My brain..stucked with all the troubles..and I don't want it to burden me again. Even how..'sayang' it was for it to end, but i have to stand still and say this..-The friendship..is End till here!! R had given me clues..he want to quit..then, I give him what he wanted before- A RELIEF & A HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WITH HIS 3 other friends whom can give him happiness & Benefits! now, I said it for sure!-..the 7 people in this so-call group..will not suffer again. I let them win ..for sure..coz, i know I don't deserved friends who don't want treat me as one.EVen sampai mati pun sia mau maintain frienship ini, but dorg dah layan mcmtu..what more i can do??

Guys..if u read this..i want to say 'thanks again'..for giving me the whole of up & down for these passed 4 mths. U r nice in 'virtual'...but not as nice in what we called as in 'reality'...i did love and care for u guys..before..i have my heart put on each of you guys' so-call ' virtual treasure box' but..it had faded ..away.
MY pray for you all..will be forever. hope your life be merrier than before after this.
God Bless...

The last event that we attended together as friends...J's Bday~