THE DAY I TYPE THIS...

The day I feel so down..
I feel for love just few months back
I fight for it to be true..
I dream of it to be perfect and nice..
I carry myheart very careful so it won't break up easily
But today is the bad down fall that I ever had since few years ago.

The angel of love used to spread it's potion
My angel used to care, used to bring me tenderness
The hope for my happiness to be with that 'Love' was vanish.. It's all only some fantasy that only last for awhile in mylife.

My day of having all the excitement had gone
The day when the journey of 'someone new' in mylife has seem fade away by the 'inconveniences' feeling that he had,
the selfish attitudes of him that broke this sincere & decent heart.

Do you hear my painful heart that cries for you?
Do you ever see how this emotion control my mind, that it make me suffered?
Do you even care,love & want me anymore??
Have your even bother to fix what had been broken? Or even bother to know each others well enough for you to it end?
Do you even care to make this work?

That's only God know why.
Seeing love & friendship ...dissapear from my eyes. Seeing the people i care no more will be there for me..
And left me alone to feel this misery is why I need You...God.
Maybe I am not being there with You before.
I am being a transparent for You while others pray hard for You.
Maybe this is why I feel lost now.
I feel lonely and..I feel weak.
Lost of ..my true emotion...
Lost of everythings I feel before.
But I want to live...! And You are the reason why I live my life for..'

WHAT'S LIFE ARE ABOUT? THE SHOCKING..NEWS

I was on MC today. Got a really pain headache and MIgrain, feel my mind going to explode soon. Tu yg sia rasa. Pagi bangun tadi, sia ingat sia bole pigi kerja. Siap pakai baju kerja, but bila ada somethings bothering me that time, i bcome inthis headache mood that i feel i can't even stand up and walk to office anymore.
End up ...i'm staying at home..resting.
I talk to someone yesterday about handling a life crisis and think of GOD. She was not even my close fren but i knew her in the office. SHe came actually just to introduce me a healthy product. She being an assistant to market the product bah. After awhile of talking, we end up talking about health, crisis in life ..and suddenly GOD and how to talk to GOD whenenever feel down. SHe adviced me few things and from that few things..i realize on somethings. It's hard to accept the facts in sudden, there was one people that i barely know appeared in front of me and talking about GOD and all the religious things, feel like GOD had plan for me. I think I am on the level where I need God by myside now. Bcos some part of mylife I think I should need Him to guide.
today also, i heard one bad & shocking news from a very old highschoolmate of mine- Kam@ KamaliaZam about our dear friend, Kim was admitted to Likas Hospital & now was on COmma , it had been 3 days & she still not wake up. When I asked Kam what actually happened. She said that KIm was hit & 'dibelasah' by her BF...so hard that it had broken KIm's head bone fracture. What kind of sick Man who could did such thing to a lady called as his GF who he vow to love & care? It had been so much of pain and hurtful things..for Kim now. I just hope She will wake up..! I pray she will wake up and be better soon. I hope God will guide her thru life....after that. The guy should be punish and should be giving lesson. A lesson of life that he will remember. It's been a along time since i last saw Kim, and since we keep in touch. I think I didn't meet her since 7 yrs ago. Did met her at KK for one time. And when I heard about the breaking news, I was thinking how her life ...been thru before this. THe 'Jerk'...that did this to her, how long had the guy know her until he dare to do that sarcastic cruelty to her? It just a bad experiences to know that a guy that we love and care ..most are the one that did this thing to a fragile lady like KIm. Kim was once a very active..,so call 'tomboyish' girl that i known, she 's always been so 'rouge' and strong lady since the day last time i saw her. But, suddenly now,...she was like this. Trapping....and fighting for her life...to survive. We never will knows what will happen to us in future eventhou we thought we know that person in our life..but..the truth, sometimes..it is not what we expected.
God...bless her...and stay with her...specially during now.

I was not a good human..i always have a 'devil' besides me too..but i always hope I will change and i hope GOd is there to guide me during my downtime..and lately...I need HIM to be with me..really be with me so that I can pass by this life with meaningful journey. I want to stop..hurting myself and being ..a life full with misery and sadness. I need my family, i need my close friends with me ...I need You, God to always guide me. I can't be like this...forever..! When I saw what people surrounding me had said, advices..and been dealing with..I feel the life..I once feel like is not fighting for, I feel life is just ..a pathetic journey ..that always bring me problems..and always make me tense, I feel like ..is not fair..the world is not fair for human to live on. I feel I can't trust anyone no more..since my heart been broken..and hurt..my friends and family, by love one.
BUt when, I realize somethings about ...it, somethings that most of myfriends..advices. It should be 'Hikmah' on what happened in mylife.
Is it true? Is it real..? Only God knows why.

FROM THE INSIDE ....

Its had been few days passed by since the last time I update my Blog. Today, i think to update it. There's been alot of things happened lately but i don't have time to update it due to my tight works schedules and there's somethings goin on lately too. It's the day i broke my heart.
It's sucks..yes..cos u wouldn't know and understand what actually happen until ...u realised ..it had already hurted you deeply.

I dun know how to begin but all i know..i was having my normal life before i know the things i don't wish to know. My normal days start by working and by facing the day of the kind of environment which people don;t expect to be. I had gave all my heart to that person but end up he saying to me somethings that i don't want to hear.
I don't knwo how to react...and i don't know how to speak up. Is it bcos of me..or is it bcos of we really not ready for such relationship?

I'm confused and I feel lost..I thoughts I can give Love a chance, but indeed...I'm Wrong and it's all been my own mistakes to let him in into my life! I never forget my friends...and I will never judge their opinion towards what I'm doing ,but when dealing with Love...most of their advices and opinion are right! And I'm being a lady that having the same problems and issues..I choose the wrong Guys!! I make myself Hurt!

The pain and hurt that i feel ..had concurred me and mylife..making me mourns and feeling down until others had noticed and tried to ask me what actually happened. I dun talk much...coz i feel I dun have anythings to talk about. I want to be positive in this thing....but i can't.. I don't have the faith to lost more people that I love. I let myself drowning for him and i let my heart falls for him 100%.

Treat him as fren..should I ? Make like nothing happen? CAn I?? And to forget everythings that happened these few months? Do it easy to forget and forgive after I began to trust for Love to come in mylife? It's not LOVE ..now..It's only HURT and Pain that been haunting me again andd again due to my own...wrong ...judgement and mistakes.

I want to thank you for my really close friends..that who always being there with me no matter in what condition I am..You knows who you are..and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Only God can re-pay what you all had done..and help. Xpecially a friend.. that had been there for me for the past 10 yrs. I'm sorry for being self-centre and thinking of being so clumsy in deciding what best for me. I don't want to feel this anymore..i don't want to cry..and cry and keep my hurt in pain..all the time. I need God and really hope it will change my life..soon. I just need time to heal and recover back. I will be back..I HOPE..and this time ..God , I let you decide my faith...~

It's True...The Truth are really Ugly.

Harini sia and a friend keluar pigi tguk movie-Title:-'THE UGLY TRUTH'. Yupps..the movie yg sia mau tguk sejak last month lagi. COz i know it's going to be somethings interesting. Thevenue? Of cos..Midvalley, mana lagi kan..tu ja yg paling dekat la dgn rumah convenient.

This movie...sia pun ndak tau mau rate mcmna..but it's a really inspiring story and kind of fun to watch..specially utk org2 bujang mcm kami..ni la. Tambahan, actually movie tu very funny jugakla..when how things going on between 'Abby'(katherine Heighl) & 'Mike Chadway'(Gerard Butler...Huh..my fave actor!!)

Sia ada nampak jugak sikit preview of the movie di web, & iklan, that's why sia mulanya plan to watch it in Aug, which i was mistakenly thought it's going to start in Aug..rupanya in September plak.The stories run like this..la., kehidupan org2 single -guys or ladies yang selama ni tgh mencari jodoh..yg sesuai. Sia rasa ..lebiih diutamakan pada kaun 'pompuan' la, coz everyday..i hink kita semua menempuhi hari2 dimana..kita harap someday adala..atleast adalah lelaki yg bagus ,and 'perfect' muncul dlm hidup kita & kita hidup bahagia disisi lelaki tu..sampaila bawak ke gerbang perkahwinan..(mcm 'awkward pulak sia tukar everythgs ke ayat MElayu..mm? ahh..biarla. rasa lagi selesa type cmni, byk idea keluar~) Siapa yg ndak mau ada hidup yg mcmtu kan? Disayangi, dibelai, dimanja..(mm?), dijaga(most important!) dan..super important dia ada sifat2 mana semua ada, kata erti' PERFECT' in everythings yg kita harap2kan..selama ni.
But ...of cos, bila pikir balik, dlm realiti hidup yg sebenar...teda kata erti yg demikian..sebabnya, mcmna kita harapkan dan yg kita taru dlm 'listing' kita pun ndak akan tercapai ..jugak. ITU REALITI...so, that's why....kebanyakan pompuan lebih kepada 'bujang(single) instead of lelaki. Dlm realiti hidup, sudahla mmg kaun lelaki kurang daripada kaum pompuan, and then , bila pompuan zaman skrg yg telah byk harungi 'kekecewaan' dan terluka..akan cuba 'avoid' daripada...utk pikir tentang 'love'(cinta) cos it will only make them suffer and hurt whenever they try hard to find the TRUE LOVE & when they try to find the perfect figures.
Pompuan yg berkomitmen tinggi dlm hidup and kerja pun salah satu faktor jugak yg mereka lebih selesa hidup berdikari, hidup dgn bekerja...dan hidup dlm keadaan tenang dimana..tidak perlu membebankan otak berpikir tentang 'love'. Kalu bole, sia pun ingin menjadi salah satu dairpada pompuan yg dinyatakan tadi. Utk menhalang daripada alami' kekecewaan' and ..tidakselesaaan. Begitula lumrah hidup pompuan.

Dlm movie tu..ia menceritakan ..line storis yg sedemikian rupa. Mike (Gerard) try to tell women, there are no such thing as 'love' in our life. He mentioned about politic of sex attraction and..how it's are the main ..cara utk mengubah pandangan pompuan yg pentingkan 'perfect guys' but...sia never believe that 'sex attraction' will be important for ladies to learn, wear sexycloths to attract the guys(cos sometimes it's true!).
Bole katakan, watak si Gerard, dia tidak suka dgn bermain CInta2 (LOVE) ..it's not only a 'crap' for him. H e doesn't believe in LOVE .
rasa sedih and pilu pun ada bila..tguk tu movie..Sedih plus ada 'moral of the stories'- DOn't be tooo desperado! tu ..and try to find LOVE , or to get Perfect Guys..in our life coz, it will only burden ours ' s brain. And one thing that i learned from the movie itself, is that the kind of life that we wanted is not the kind of life that we will get, have to accept the fact la jugak that's only a dream .

Sia faham some few part MIke was trying to say about ladies & Guys, sometimes..I don't. And one more important thing is that guys normall will attracted to Body (physical) instead of seeking the feeling 1st.. it's like a 'lust' la bole dikatakan. hmmm...

That's what i learned from the movie about diri sendiri yg selalu diambang pertanyaan and dia mulai meragui dgn setiap 'perhubungan' dgn lelaki. Napa Ya? Ada org tu selalu ja bad luck..tapi ndaktau kenapa tau? apa benda buat sia selalu jadi begini ah..?)

The truth about what MIke said (in the movie) about Love is really Ugly indeed! Even..sia pun terasa when dia ckp tu ayat and explain kenapa guy susah utk committed dgn pompuan.It's really HURTFUL when you listen to everythings MIke said about Love..and guys..and ladies.
So ...it's does! TRUTH really HURTFUL ..That's the main aspect.

i enjoy watching the movie and how it related to my life. where's does the real me be if I'm being so much like the bad side of Abby?yeah..i feel like i had the same atttitudes as her- the bad one. JUst hope i will not be like that for years and years.

I just Don't know....

Since few days ago, i been thinking to type somethings inside this blog but..i just can't start it.
Don't know why. I 'm trying to fight somethings that true ,but, i cannot do..it
i try to avoid the awkward situation that i feel deep deep down inside my heart, but still it seem like i can't accept the things that he tried to say.

I'm confuse by some word...that he tried to share, talk & even msg. I do see the differences of US in every coming new days. I had a vision & have the same wishes in mylife with him. But, it's not enough! I thought it will be better for us...i do thought that everythings will doing well..i thought the 'road' that we taking is the road to freedom for every bad experiences,-hope to reach the happy line.. but it's ...look like it goes in different direction. We wanted it to work..yups..so badly, but i don't know if we can stay the way we stay now till forever. Yet, here we are ....hoping for somethings that not even exist & not even born. I am still trying to understand what happened & what expectation that we want in IT...i'm just started to learn & keep up with the whole scenarios.

There's one part of ...me just can't let this go. I''m NOt Done yet! Yes, I'm Done with falling for somethings crazy but I'm Not done yet from you!

-I want to thank a friend that teach me about Love is Actually Friendship. To tell the truth, what he said is really TRue. Never wonder..I'll agreed with him. I never judge a Friendship to be compare with Love..coz i know...Friendship is belong to LOve , And Love is belong to Friendship!! Of cos my friendship with my close friends are really important for me and to be with them is the most 'memorable' moment and a quality experiences. Love on the other hands, keep us with companionship & satisfaction...Yes, Satisfaction.(dun know why i said it , but when u think of it, got some true 'index' too) . So, thank you to u friend for the help in advicing us and ..giving your opinion eventhou..you sound like 'teasing' ..but it's all true!

i hope..i can think ...wisely..and clearly. i wish i have the courtesy to think positively. I hope to heal...

I'M DONE....am I??

I'm Done LyricsArtist(Band):Pussycat Dolls

I wasn't looking for this
What is thisI don't know
You know
I was doing just fine
By myself
On my own
Tell me how to stop this feeling
I don't want to fall in love
Just want to have a little fun
Then you came and swept me up and now
I'm done so done
Falling madly deeply
I Surprise myself enough to find
That what's become this love and now I'm done so done, I'm done

Yeah

I can't imagine right now
Standing here, without you
To think that I tried to ignore
What I felt, what I knew
I could never, stop this feeling
I don't want to fall in love
Just want to have a little fun
But then you came and swept me up and now I'm done so done
Falling madly deeply
ISurprise myself enough to find that what's become this love and now
I'm done so done, I'm done

Yeah

Thank you for not letting go
When I saidLet me go
Thank you for timing, thank you for finding
Thank you for not believing me baby when I said
I don't want to fall in love
Just want to have a little fun
But then you came and swept me up and now I'm done so done
Falling madly deeply
I Surprise myself enough to find that what's become this love, and now I'm done so done, I'm done

Yeah

I wasn't looking for this, and now I'm done, I'm done.

PEACE...

I'm so blessed today..I got the chances to have a very meaningful day with a friend that is so meaningful to me. It had been so long since we had a real talk. We laughed, have fun, have a great talk...we smiled, we have a quality 'friend together' time,making Jokes about somethings..It's really making me feel so... touched & blessed..
That's all i have to say and want to say. Coz it's a moment that I really feel like i'm having back her as my friend again. Thank You God for giving me ..the day that i hope to get. I hope it will be forever maintain this way as we moving on with our life.. our so-call life. It does change alot these few days, and I'm still in a way to learn to use to it.
Appreciated it..alot.

The Uneasy Situation

Yesterday night had been a real uneasy something for me. I had some kind of arguement last nite. And it had involved with 2 person in mylife. Ndak tau napa...semlm, i thoughts was going to be ok but end up with some misunderstanding and abit of unsatisfied, unplanned & very defensive arguement.

was very clear that yesteday was goin to be a smooth day, a very easy and touching day for me after seeing someone being so tired and the other one to be so much of stress up with the feeling of losing her good friend. I tried my best to cheer and being supportive for them. Make myself positive to accept that somehow they needed their own time & don't want to be committed of somethings, and somehow the' other one had tired of waiting for miracle to come.

I' m too have my own feeling ..and i need someone to care enough to ask me what 's goin on in mylife and why i feel so meanless..like today.

Help me God...Pls guide me to what decision should I make to ensure all will be fine.

sia sudah cuba utk betulkan keadaan dan sia cuba jugak utk bertolerate dgn dorg and sia harap dorg faham jugak keadaan sia. Apa yg sia patut buat ? I'm so stress out oo sometimes bila sia pikir byk sgt benda yg berlaku dlm beberapa hari nie. Sometimes sia rasa sia mau Give up ja..utk ada apa ada apa2 feeling lagi for anyone..and to care anyone ..
I feel like i'm a useless person who can't even solve my own problems. I'm afraid and I'm tired. Sooner or leter, the things will become more worst eventhou it solve but the issues still goin on.
arhhhh...i hate it ..i hate it alot!

It's a hard day for me...

dear blog,

It had been long time since my last story. I don't want to express what i feel thru blog previously coz....i know somehow, it kind of sad to know that some people judged, sabotaj & doing some bad things to us by reading the blog and not trying to understand what actually happened and what actually the writer felt. That's what happened to me past few months ago. The person still reading my blog actually and still keep 'kacau'ing...people 's privacy until today. I hope he/she will understand truely by now..I had suffered enough. And if they still have God beside them, i'm sure they will know what to do or not what to do..inside other people 's blog site.

But today, i don't know why..i feel like i want to express it inside my blog. It's had been a really tought and hard day for me currently. It's just hard to explain what's actually goin on. It so much of complication and confusing moment here and there. I had tried to understand and follow up with what had happened around me these few days..i think it all started since someone 'new' came to my life. I feel like I'm the one to be blame for all these. I am the person who created the whole chaos. I feel so down right now with all the here and there..issues. I want to blame on other people, but i just can not coz i know ....it's me who start all the drama. I hope the person who related with this will be happy to read what i had typed now. I know some people just can't let go of being 'bad' to see me suffer every single day..and to make every person hated me like i'm not worth to have my own happy life as human being. Why ?? Why can't my life just be normal like other people? Why it must ended with problems? I never want to create any problems before i come to KL. I never think that i will be ... like i was now when i reached KL. I never thoughts i even had these kind of problems. Sometimes, i just can't take the pressure and the facts that i will loose my close friends in future if we do move on with our own life. I try to understand what actually she wanted in life..-which is to move on. yeah..i let her move on too. Coz i know, i want to see her be happy and had her own life that she always wanted.

Today, i went to church with my friend. Eventhou I' m not a Christian. But i always believe in GOd, and bcoz of that, I went to see HIM after so long not visiting the church. I was so in emotion everytime the choir sung the harmonious songs.. I feel I wanted to cry. I did cried...without myfriend seeing me. I know somehow, i feel somethings deep deep down inside my heart but i don't know how to say it.
I did make my prayer to some people i cared..and one of them..a friend that i mentioned earlier. She been there for me no matter what. She been there to support me in up and down. Her present thru these years had make me more glad enough. I never hope for better than seeing her being happy but..things not doing well after all recently. adn yes..i know why.
Bcoz i'm not being fair enough to see her being happy with another friends. It's not all bcoz of jelousy, it's somehow bcoz..i'm afraid of losing her to a better friend. And the better friend i talked about is also my very close friend indeed. How am i goin to survive..this episode? she will keep on feeling unsteady and uncomfortable when seeing or knowing that the new person in my life appeared. It's making me feel so...depressed and feel i was so wrong. I tried to make her understand, i talked to her..i let her know how I feel and I always cared for her and let her know what i feel for everythings that happened in our life...just bcoz i wanted her to know that i still 'CARED'!!

But why it's so hard to understand and why it's so hard to make things be better as normal? I was wrong to put the blame on the other friend that being with her when she was down, advicing her when she need someone whose being positive to lead her to a positive way. I can't give her that..i know coz, I know I can't & i know she will not even want me to be there for her too this time around. I did be that part before in her life ...past few years..and it make me remembered back how we become very close friend until now.
It making me sad to think ..that I can't play that part anymore...eventhou I wanted it too but it will not be the same anymore. So you know how hard to accept that it had change??

I do care and still love her to be my close friend and ..sister. I wanted she to know that everyday..while we still alive and while still breathing. Not many people and friends stayed in our life like we used to be. Many of them come and go as time passing by. A true friend really hard to find these days... ~ NOt many friends can touched our life like what this close friend does. She did everythings to make me feel secured of life and to make me happy, to remember it all back really touch my soul and heart. Thank You very much for being there my wonderful friend, I really do appreciated it every single days of my life. I just can't explain to her sometimes i do remember those happy times when we are all still being a teenagers..being restless teenagers and being energetic everyday. It still fresh kept in mymind. I wanted that life again..i wanted that quality times when we can share every stories in our life together..even we talked about guys..and future. That's what i wish for throughout these few years that you didn't even know.
I cried to sleep when the 1st time i think of it. It had make me hope and wish that someday, you will be much much more happier than today.I wanted her to have her peaceful life where she don't have to think of me being happy all the time. I wantde her to have a 'new' person in her life who can take care of her now and forever. I wanted all the best for her. And Pls GOD, i know u hear my prayer..pls just let it be true.

If that can help in our friendship, i really hope ...YOU granted it to her.
I wanted to take the opportunity to say 'sorry' for the lady that being with her friend recently but now...ignoring her bcoz of my mistakes. you know who u are in our life..friend, and U will forever be my new close friend... now and forever.

A TRIBUTE TO MICHEAL JACKSON...

(THIS SONG-'SMILE' BRING A TOUCHING MESSAGE FROM MICHEAL HIMSELF- TO SMILE EVERYTIME, NO MATTER IN WHAT CONDITION WE ARE. I LOVE THE LYRICS COZ IT HAD REALLY GUIDE ME THRU LIFE. IT'S TRUE..)


VISIT WEBSITE:
http://www.michaeljackson.com/my/home


Michael Jackson's public memorial begins in LA

Buzz Up Send Email IM Share Delicious Digg Facebook Fark Newsvine Reddit StumbleUpon Technorati Yahoo! Bookmarks Print Play Video Video:LIVE - Michael Jackson memorial in Los Angeles ABC News Slideshow:Michael Jackson Memorial Play Video Video:History of High-Profile Funerals ABC News Play Video Video:Video Essay: Jackson fans leave messages AP AP – Fans gather outside Staples Center before a memorial service for Michael Jackson Tuesday, July 7, 2009, … By JESSE WASHINGTON, AP National Writer Jesse Washington, Ap National Writer – 23 mins agoLOS ANGELES – A public memorial service for Michael Jackson began Tuesday with Smokey Robinson reading comments from Nelson Mandela, Diana Ross and other friends of the King of Pop.

Following a long silent period inside the venue, piano music and a gospel choir kicked things off with a stained-glass motif in the background.

An estimated 20,000 people filed smoothly into the Staples Center as Jackson's golden, flower-draped casket was brought to the venue in a motorcade under law enforcement escort.

Fans with a ticket wore gold wristbands and picked up a metalic gold program guide on their way in. Pallbearers who placed Jackson's casket into the hearse wore gold neckties.

Jackson's hearse had been part of a motorcade that smoothly whisked his body 10 miles across closed freeways from a private service at a Hollywood Hills cemetery to his public memorial and awaiting fans.

The hearse pulled into Staples Center complex and drove into an underground structure as fans began to file into the venue for the start of the service.

Some arriving celebrities strolled down a black carpet on their way in. Spike Lee, Wesley Snipes and Barbara Walters were among the celebrities seen at the entrance, the Los Angeles Times said.

The traffic snarls and logistical nightmares that had been feared by police and city officials had not materialized. The thousands of fans with tickets began filing in early and encountered few problems, and traffic was actually considered by police to be lighter than normal.

"I think people got the message to stay home," said California Highway Patrol Officer Miguel Luevano. "When you have people staying home, it clears up those freeways."

Earlier in the morning, Jackson's family members and dozens of friends, led by his parents, Joe and Katherine, were seen entering a building at the cemetery. News reports estimated as many as 20 helicopters circled overhead.

In addition to Jackson's gold-plated casket, his pallbearers wore dark suits and gold neckties. Fans with a ticket wore gold wristbands and picked up a gold program guide on their way in.

The public memorial was to be televised live around the world. Among the celebrities expected to attend the memorial were Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey, Usher, Lionel Richie, Kobe Bryant, Jennifer Hudson, John Mayer and Martin Luther King III.

Outside the Staples Center, Claudia Hernandez, 29, said she loved Jackson's music as a girl growing up in Mexico. Now a day-care teaching assistant in Los Angeles, Hernandez said she cried watching TV coverage of his death.

"I'm trying to hold in my emotions," said Hernandez, wearing a wristband to allow her admittance to the service and holding a framed photograph of Jackson. "I know right now he's teaching the angels to dance."

Police blocked off perimeter roads and warned those without tickets to stay away because they would not be able to get near the downtown venue.

Inside the Staples Center, a stage was bathed in blue light and a spray of yellow and orange flowers was placed in front of a podium. The backdrop featured a photo of a smiling Jackson looking up toward the sky and the words: "In loving memory of Michael Jackson King of Pop. 1958-2009."

Outside the arena, video billboards showed a montage of pictures from Jackson's life, including those of the singer as a child, with celebrities such as Luciano Pavarotti and Marcel Marceau, and with members of his family.

Some fans were allowed past street barriers into the immediate area around the Staples Center early Tuesday. Dozens of street vendors sold T-shirts, photos, buttons and other Jackson memorabilia.

More than 1.6 million people registered for the lottery for free tickets to Jackson's memorial. A total of 8,750 were chosen to receive two tickets each.

Los Angeles was the epicenter of Jackson-mania, but the outpouring of emotion was worldwide. Belgium's two national public broadcasters planned to broadcast the memorial live, and several hundred Jackson fans gathered at a Hong Kong mall late Tuesday.

Holding white candles, Hong Kong singer William Chan and Taiwanese pop star Judy Chou led the audience in observing a 30-second silence. Many of the fans clutched red roses and wore black; some donned Jackson's trademark fedora hats.

In America, about 50 movie theaters across the country, from Los Angeles to Topeka, Kan., and Washington, D.C., planned to show the memorial live, for free. Jackson died at age 50 on June 25.

"There are certain people in our popular culture that just capture people's imaginations. And in death, they become even larger," President Barack Obama told CBS while in Moscow. "Now, I have to admit that it's also fed by a 24/7 media that is insatiable."

The city of Los Angeles set up a Web site Tuesday to allow fans to help the city pay for his Staples Center memorial service. Mayor's office spokesman Matt Szabo estimates the service will cost $1.5 million to $4 million.

The Web page reads: "Help the City of Angels provide the extraordinary public safety resources required to give Michael the safe, orderly and respectful memorial he deserves."

It was not known what will happen to Jackson's body. The Forest Lawn Memorial Park Hollywood Hills cemetery is the final resting place for such stars as Bette Davis, Andy Gibb, Freddie Prinze, Liberace and recently deceased David Carradine and Ed McMahon.

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AP Entertainment writer Sandy Cohen, AP Music writer Nekesa Mumbi Moody, AP Special Correspondent Linda Deutsch, Associated Press writers Solvej Schou, Christina Hoag, Amy Taxin, Andrew Dalton, Anthony McCartney and Danica Kirka contributed to this report.

MY CUPID...

Wake me up
Mycupid..
Bring me up...
MyCUpid..
Hold Me..Mycupid..
hug me..

My Cupid,
You tickle me,cheer me,tackle me & make me happy..
Bring me somewhere...Paradise?Heaven? Uthopia?
My Cupid...Somewhere we can share the love ..
Somewhere we belong,
Somewhere peaceful,so Magical but it's so reality..

My Cupid,
I adore you,
I admire you,
I care for you
My Cupid,
You guide thru love
you teach me of pure frienship
of broken heart, of a silly love...

My CUpid,
Make me yours..
Your apprentice.
Shot me with your love arrow
Spread the eternity love...
Be my guider, and be my angel for tonight...

-jny-