I dun know why suddenly my life turn to so ...empty that i feel like the earth going to drop and 'hempap' sia!
I don't know why suddenly i feel this way...i never feel this feeling before. It almost kill the half of me. It had making one of my closest friend stay far from me from now on..and I had to think the bothside part which Myself also very confuse of it. I don't want to gamble the the prediction for LOvE & Friendship coz..both part are so important to me and I can't live without it.
I gained The Love since this week and I feel like i'm on the way of losing my friendship! Why God? Why it always be me who had to face the fact that these 2 extraordinary person that hold special part in mylife.
I love my LOve & My frienship that I feel so..so deeply hurt that I have to force myself to choose from both of it. The love that had finally worth to try & that i feel can possibly bring me alive and bring me happiness at last or the friendship that had been with me thru 10 years of my live?
The Love that just bounded with promises and destiny to make it work. The friendship that been there for me throught my journey of life. I just don't know what to think, to do, to face and to decide. I want both but ...why is so hard for me to get? I care for them. I wanna talk with someone else but i can't..i wanna said every words that i feel ..but i'm not able to say.I wanna said LOve is my life but Friendship is mylife too. I'can't accept the fact that one of them dissapear. God, what should I do? Did I make a wrong steps by finding LOVe?? And Now, my friendship getting far far away from me because of the LOVe issues. And bcoz of fear and trust, bcoz of love & or just a temporary feeling? I can't make my decision ..i can't choose!! I want them to know how i feel and how i will lost if they are gone.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
'TE AMO' FOR 'MIA AMORE'...
Here is the song 'TE AMO' BY RIHANNA.. I want to dedicate it to a girlpal who also love this song ( u know who u are...) and the 'guy' that open my heart..in future. Hope it bring alot of meaning and "Love" to your life too...even sometimes, Love did kills us softly but it bring us brighter life at the end. Dun ...even stop having 'Love' in our life.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
THE SHIP THAT SINK
This ship was build by wonderful friends and memories
A very nice & humble people at the beginning of it..
They talk, laugh , smile , cheer, share care & stories like never have before
Their spirit was once as one
United the bond of a new friendship
A new revolution of different world.
The ship was build to bring us to the nice places, to the wide ocean but
instead of being that way, it was going narrow.
A ship that was build by angels to fly it off to a place that beyond everythings that ever imagine.
It's Symbolic...that place we want to be.
Build with pure, sincere, loveable, sacred & desire.
The ship that we hope for bringing us to happiness, to the memorable place that can keep all those 'treasures' we gained.
But, the ship that fit all those imazing people had broke, sink together with all high hopes, dreams & memories.
The ship that thought of bringing us to the universe had missing into the deep ocean.
The memory all disappeared.
There is no more laughter, there's only anger & tears.
The love and happiness had faded away...left only Hate!
It was not the same..
the structure was damaged ..spoiled ...it's had been broken into pieces...
All dreams had becomes illusion.
All hopes had vanish forever...
Why it ended up to be this way? Why must the ship failed to fullfill the journey?
Why it broke off so early even before it started the Dreams...?
It's a tragic ..it's a dissapointment...
It's a sad momentos...that not suppose to be.
BUt yet..it happened...
The ship will be stop its' engine...will stop the crew, will stop the capten, will stop its' function...
& it will be this way. It 's meant..and said.
The Ship had loose & lost the Wing man now and then.
A very nice & humble people at the beginning of it..
They talk, laugh , smile , cheer, share care & stories like never have before
Their spirit was once as one
United the bond of a new friendship
A new revolution of different world.
The ship was build to bring us to the nice places, to the wide ocean but
instead of being that way, it was going narrow.
A ship that was build by angels to fly it off to a place that beyond everythings that ever imagine.
It's Symbolic...that place we want to be.
Build with pure, sincere, loveable, sacred & desire.
The ship that we hope for bringing us to happiness, to the memorable place that can keep all those 'treasures' we gained.
But, the ship that fit all those imazing people had broke, sink together with all high hopes, dreams & memories.
The ship that thought of bringing us to the universe had missing into the deep ocean.
The memory all disappeared.
There is no more laughter, there's only anger & tears.
The love and happiness had faded away...left only Hate!
It was not the same..
the structure was damaged ..spoiled ...it's had been broken into pieces...
All dreams had becomes illusion.
All hopes had vanish forever...
Why it ended up to be this way? Why must the ship failed to fullfill the journey?
Why it broke off so early even before it started the Dreams...?
It's a tragic ..it's a dissapointment...
It's a sad momentos...that not suppose to be.
BUt yet..it happened...
The ship will be stop its' engine...will stop the crew, will stop the capten, will stop its' function...
& it will be this way. It 's meant..and said.
The Ship had loose & lost the Wing man now and then.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
A FRIENDSHIP POEMS...*CAPTURED*
i got this poem from Yahoo site..and will like to share with you all about what friendship really mean.
A Plea For A Friend
by Music
From dawn to duskI think of thee,As I feel your sweet spirit come over me.A calming hand,A warming heart,You and I shall never part.Follow me as I kneel to pray,to thank you for my days of praise.To you I owe,my life I lend,for in return I promise a friend.
My Friend
by Sammy Lane Sharp
We all need someoneTo talk to in our life,A friend to whom we runIn times of stress or strifeA friend who's always thereThroughout the years,A friend we know will careAnd take away our fears.A friend who's always near,Waiting for our call,To wipe away our tears,And lift us when we fall.A loving friend indeed,On whom we can dependTo fulfill our every need
-Thank you, precious friend
The Way It Should Be
by Vergil F.e. Tudtud
Solitude have I to endure,seemingly held with disclosure.A fellow left astray,as yet from yesterday.Flashing your dainty, disarming smile,warms my heart every once in a while.
Our longtime kinshipwill always bloom with friendship.It has never been so profound,a lifetime friend have I found.Let our friendship be a bond,which can never be like a dry pond.Let us not forget the dreams we share,forever like sisters or brothers we care.You'll always be a friend to me,and that's the way it should be.
Monday, August 3, 2009
MY KK DIARIES..
SUNDAY-2/8/09
I was lepaking in CIlla's house since yesterday. Kami pigi tguk movie semlm di One BOrneo. Mula2 pagi I follow pcilla & her family went to Telekom, breakfast at Towering &went to the banks.The plannig to watch movie -The Proposal was actually in the morning. But the plan was cancel due to alot of agendas in the morning.We went for movie at night. at 9.30pm.That evening actually i checked for my facebook & my blog.I don't know why I read back some of the comments i saw inside myblog. First comments i saw was from Nelly@ Hsiao Fui.She commented on the blog i wrote about the 'a touching msg from Helena' that she wrote to me few weeks aftert hat incident. I din;t expect my old friends reading myblog and knowing onwhat had happened to me at here. I din;t asked for sympathy or attention from them. And i never even tell them about the problems i'm facing.I was glad to see Nelly's comment, coz she had been quiet since she got married and we haven't spend any time to chat or talk to each other. Even she was in KL for training, I was unable to meet her.After reading Nelly's comment, I proceed to other comments for another 'blog' that i typed. And this time, the comment was from a person that used to be friend before-a guy. It's from 'D'.I had a bad feeling for his comments bcos I don't expect him to reply or to comment anymore at my FB or at my blog. Cos i know, every single words that she typed will end up with hurt.And it was a really bad comments. It's so sick and so pathetic of him to typed and keep sending the pathetic words that he used to spoil other people mood. I think that's what he pretend to do now. Infact, I knew him from 1st time we talked and 1st time we met. Maybe he is not a cruel human like now, who only know to keep playing with his harsh words.It's make me so..sad not bcoz of what he said are all in his own judgement but it ad bcoz, he's being so hypocrite and his attention to ruin everythings from his own words & action.Why he doesn't know to stop? Why he keep saying the same words eventhou I had stop? Why he never feel anythings that can make people hurt?Why he still keep 'fighting' for his & his gang 's rights instead of understand what actually happened in this friendship and try to solve it? Lies, betrayal, backstabbing, insanity, politic, twisted mind, & disgusting wordings & action, all these had applied to what happened currently.The more i think the more frustrated i feel. That's why i keep my distance from them, so that i will not end up hurting myself again. These all actually nonsense! cos he never want to stop even people had being so quiet and being so nice to him!This problem will always dragging here and there. The Man is like a 'dog' that like to 'piss' to find his territory & to find someone new.!! He can sense anythings that we feel & any opportunities that he can use to get me back ( in a different words- they being so immature to deal what had happened.)..SO ..SO WHAT? mcm sia ckp la..so..soo..pathetic people la!
ook..contine on the watching movie time. We watchedmovie -THE PROPOSAL in GSC 1 Borneo. and it's so so funny! starting until the ending. Ketawa berbahak bahak..lor!
movie end at about 11 lebih gituu..la i think. but ..mmg funny! i always like SANDRA BULLOCK~
Let's stop on the 'hot' topic about the 'badmouthed guy' and continue on my stories in KK. It's been a very steady day around here. people working and we are on holidays. It's kinda peace day for us. And i like it before 'someone' interrupted it. But watever happened, i still glad i get to spend time with mum. They all don't even know that i'm home at KK. Even cilla's parent also dun know at 1st. Mum was shocked when 1st time i called up her at cilla's house to inform her about my arrival in KK. Mum was so surprised, why i come back. Can't remember mum or dad phone tel bcoz my hp was left out in PJ-hopefully it was at home. janganla hilang...
Dad pick me up at that evening at cilla's hse. Besoknya tu on Friday (30th) i stayed at home and company mum to go to papar..buy some stuffs & bringing the laptop to KFC papar cos there's only internet (wireless)...wah..nampak komen2 inside my FB & some from Blog, tu yg nampak si 'jerk' punya comments!
Mum was great and she always..tried to talk to me in nice wordings. We went to the kedai runcit & KFc after that. Kesian mummy...terpaksa kasi kawan sia pigi KFC just for internet access. MUm wait for me for few hours jugakla.
oo...on Sunday tu, we planned to go Gaya Street but suddenly hujan.so, think that we can't go la. but when reach there, nasibla ada sempat jugak belik kuih cincin yg org kirim2 .Huh...byk gilakk babe!! ndak sempat tguk lamala coz..gerai mau tutup sudah.
So, we went to the Pasar Besar KK. to buy the 'empelang(keropok ikan) again. huh..byk jugak!!
Malam tu ..go makan makan malam with Dodo, CIlla & Ika di kedai WIn Lap, ur fave place to be when thinking of uuuhhh..'porkie' foodss!! ehmmm..delicious!!! i'll miss those foods& place when i'm in KL..
KK so much different from KL..the people in Sabah..more understanding, loyal, nerd , naive , decent ,nice & humble...and always be there when needed. But don't think that they are stupid...~!! coz they are more clever than people could think. hahaha.. the place are more peaceful & harmony (atleast most of it...) the foods..ehhemmmm.. niceee...
The kampung scenary and view always make me feel calm. I really going to miss all these things in KK , Sabah. That's why i always proud to be Sabahan eventhou there are some 'weakness in the term of finding good income, works or career there, but it still a good place to heal myself whenever i feel i need warm and stressless..feeling. I know my family got this some here and there crisis, but i still wanna take it to the place where we will be together again as one family without anymore stress or tense.
Well..i'm going back home tomorrow. I wish i don't want to go back! it's kinda lazy feeling whenever i touch my foot up in KL/PJ. i think of back for good to KK but until my commitment from KL finish, i can't back for good to KK yet.
it's been a fun ,excited but freaking moment coz my hp was left out, the blog intrudent by some 'virus'...(human) which making me feel so 'sick''! but so far, glad that i went home for few days, atleast i can be with myfamily & friends thout not all..so pity i can't meet Hsiao Fui@ Nelly , Helena & leeyun~ miss them alot too!
I was lepaking in CIlla's house since yesterday. Kami pigi tguk movie semlm di One BOrneo. Mula2 pagi I follow pcilla & her family went to Telekom, breakfast at Towering &went to the banks.The plannig to watch movie -The Proposal was actually in the morning. But the plan was cancel due to alot of agendas in the morning.We went for movie at night. at 9.30pm.That evening actually i checked for my facebook & my blog.I don't know why I read back some of the comments i saw inside myblog. First comments i saw was from Nelly@ Hsiao Fui.She commented on the blog i wrote about the 'a touching msg from Helena' that she wrote to me few weeks aftert hat incident. I din;t expect my old friends reading myblog and knowing onwhat had happened to me at here. I din;t asked for sympathy or attention from them. And i never even tell them about the problems i'm facing.I was glad to see Nelly's comment, coz she had been quiet since she got married and we haven't spend any time to chat or talk to each other. Even she was in KL for training, I was unable to meet her.After reading Nelly's comment, I proceed to other comments for another 'blog' that i typed. And this time, the comment was from a person that used to be friend before-a guy. It's from 'D'.I had a bad feeling for his comments bcos I don't expect him to reply or to comment anymore at my FB or at my blog. Cos i know, every single words that she typed will end up with hurt.And it was a really bad comments. It's so sick and so pathetic of him to typed and keep sending the pathetic words that he used to spoil other people mood. I think that's what he pretend to do now. Infact, I knew him from 1st time we talked and 1st time we met. Maybe he is not a cruel human like now, who only know to keep playing with his harsh words.It's make me so..sad not bcoz of what he said are all in his own judgement but it ad bcoz, he's being so hypocrite and his attention to ruin everythings from his own words & action.Why he doesn't know to stop? Why he keep saying the same words eventhou I had stop? Why he never feel anythings that can make people hurt?Why he still keep 'fighting' for his & his gang 's rights instead of understand what actually happened in this friendship and try to solve it? Lies, betrayal, backstabbing, insanity, politic, twisted mind, & disgusting wordings & action, all these had applied to what happened currently.The more i think the more frustrated i feel. That's why i keep my distance from them, so that i will not end up hurting myself again. These all actually nonsense! cos he never want to stop even people had being so quiet and being so nice to him!This problem will always dragging here and there. The Man is like a 'dog' that like to 'piss' to find his territory & to find someone new.!! He can sense anythings that we feel & any opportunities that he can use to get me back ( in a different words- they being so immature to deal what had happened.)..SO ..SO WHAT? mcm sia ckp la..so..soo..pathetic people la!
ook..contine on the watching movie time. We watchedmovie -THE PROPOSAL in GSC 1 Borneo. and it's so so funny! starting until the ending. Ketawa berbahak bahak..lor!
movie end at about 11 lebih gituu..la i think. but ..mmg funny! i always like SANDRA BULLOCK~
Let's stop on the 'hot' topic about the 'badmouthed guy' and continue on my stories in KK. It's been a very steady day around here. people working and we are on holidays. It's kinda peace day for us. And i like it before 'someone' interrupted it. But watever happened, i still glad i get to spend time with mum. They all don't even know that i'm home at KK. Even cilla's parent also dun know at 1st. Mum was shocked when 1st time i called up her at cilla's house to inform her about my arrival in KK. Mum was so surprised, why i come back. Can't remember mum or dad phone tel bcoz my hp was left out in PJ-hopefully it was at home. janganla hilang...
Dad pick me up at that evening at cilla's hse. Besoknya tu on Friday (30th) i stayed at home and company mum to go to papar..buy some stuffs & bringing the laptop to KFC papar cos there's only internet (wireless)...wah..nampak komen2 inside my FB & some from Blog, tu yg nampak si 'jerk' punya comments!
Mum was great and she always..tried to talk to me in nice wordings. We went to the kedai runcit & KFc after that. Kesian mummy...terpaksa kasi kawan sia pigi KFC just for internet access. MUm wait for me for few hours jugakla.
oo...on Sunday tu, we planned to go Gaya Street but suddenly hujan.so, think that we can't go la. but when reach there, nasibla ada sempat jugak belik kuih cincin yg org kirim2 .Huh...byk gilakk babe!! ndak sempat tguk lamala coz..gerai mau tutup sudah.
So, we went to the Pasar Besar KK. to buy the 'empelang(keropok ikan) again. huh..byk jugak!!
Malam tu ..go makan makan malam with Dodo, CIlla & Ika di kedai WIn Lap, ur fave place to be when thinking of uuuhhh..'porkie' foodss!! ehmmm..delicious!!! i'll miss those foods& place when i'm in KL..
KK so much different from KL..the people in Sabah..more understanding, loyal, nerd , naive , decent ,nice & humble...and always be there when needed. But don't think that they are stupid...~!! coz they are more clever than people could think. hahaha.. the place are more peaceful & harmony (atleast most of it...) the foods..ehhemmmm.. niceee...
The kampung scenary and view always make me feel calm. I really going to miss all these things in KK , Sabah. That's why i always proud to be Sabahan eventhou there are some 'weakness in the term of finding good income, works or career there, but it still a good place to heal myself whenever i feel i need warm and stressless..feeling. I know my family got this some here and there crisis, but i still wanna take it to the place where we will be together again as one family without anymore stress or tense.
Well..i'm going back home tomorrow. I wish i don't want to go back! it's kinda lazy feeling whenever i touch my foot up in KL/PJ. i think of back for good to KK but until my commitment from KL finish, i can't back for good to KK yet.
it's been a fun ,excited but freaking moment coz my hp was left out, the blog intrudent by some 'virus'...(human) which making me feel so 'sick''! but so far, glad that i went home for few days, atleast i can be with myfamily & friends thout not all..so pity i can't meet Hsiao Fui@ Nelly , Helena & leeyun~ miss them alot too!
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