CARE TO LOVE OR LOVE TO CARE?

Dear Blog,

It's had been few months passed by, and this is the 1st time i wrote this blog after few months i skip from typing any stories inside. I just dunknow how ot begin and which part should I express. I feel that somehow i'm too tired to make any conclusion and complaints abt how mylife been going on for these past 4 mths....?Or...more?

I think I had another....conclusion of 'brokenhearted girl!'...again! And this time...it was not a better ideas...to 'yeld' him. It's no ending point for this one. And I thought I learned my lesson before, I thought i had found someone better, someone who can guide me thru life, and being there when I need him. Atleast, this one did hear me out and always being there when really i need him...AT 1st, but soon after I accepted him and his love into my life, and the journey begin wit alot more than i predict. Why I said this? Because I was...not always have a gud time when I have to deal with some other matters that i had in my mind, and ....I thought of having someone who can care for me..and be there for me can maybe be there for me...forever..but i was wrong.It will not be..

SInce i knew him from a very young time..during highschool, a longlost friend that had been out of contact since then. I thought i will know that person from inside out, but again I was wrong. Even how he pursued me into accepting his love and want us to be together, it was still wrong from the beginning. I was not able to hold that long anymore everydays my mylife. I do care for him. I do love him. But, It's too far for me to make myself be committed to him while he just keep blaming on me for being unreasonable gf to him when the 'msg & calls' issues occurred.Tat's where I felt that I had being patience enough ro keep msg and calling him asking for forgiveness, making myself being a tolerate partner and tried to understand what it's all about but, he just didnt tried to understand me that still need her attention and abit of comfort when things going wrong. Am i asking to much for it? Or the care and love was actually had already gone when I accepted him in mylife? AFter all, I willingly accepted all abt him even his unstability in mylife??Because I thought we can work it out, even it hard. I didn;t care for who he was before. Some friends should asked me, why i choose him even i can choose any other more suitable guys than him? I asked myself that, and i did found the answer. The answer was right there when the 1st time, i realised that he had a good heart. He cared. He tried to accept me for who i am (thought that was the real thg why he chooses me at 1st) but i guess..it's not true then!

Again..the truth came out. and it's all hurt that matter now.
(to be continued.....)