The TRip, The MOvie & The Reveal

during Caving at Gua Tempurung with the gang

we manage to pose in the dark...muahhh

waiting for the abseilers from the abseiling @ Air Terjun Kg Geruntum.

AIr Terjun Getumrum......waiting for the abseilers....

the arrival time at Gua Tempurung ....waiting for Adeline's pick up

DUring dinner time at Adeline's.(saturday)

taken from a new friend FB 's album -from the trip-Thani-

the place that we slept in...i like the bamboo house..it's very traditional- remind me of my grandparent & 'MOyang' house in Kampung. mmm:(

taken from Thani's album- really chilling when watchin the view of the small drain at Adeline.

Dear Blog,

There are few words & stories that I had skip for awhile. Some of it had touched me, some of it make me sad, somes...make me learned. From everythings that happened since last weeks had really changed my thoughts, my feeling & my emotion. LAst Saturday & Sunday...21st - 22 Nov 2009, i went to KAmpar-Gopeng,Perak. Yes..again!

-THE TRIP-

For the 2nd times, i had been back to that place. I like Adeline Rest House that actually it make me feel comfortable at 1st i went there. But this time, it had been different. The old feeling about the place comfortness had just suddenly fade away, it's doesn't feel the same anymore. It's not bcos of Adeline's but it was bcos of the othe part of things that remind me bout the experiences that i learned from being with sumone that been there. Due to a promise & the payment i had made to kak reha, i went too. I knw i will feel not comfortable & awkward when I reach there but I have to face it & to face him!!

When the time we reach @ Gua tempurung, it was almost 1pm.The Adeline's staffs picking us up & we had our lunch at Adeline before they begin to do the 1st activitty.-Abseiling. we headed to the place where they do abseling which I wasn't attend. i was being the photographer tat time.

I saw him on the abseiling point. I can saw that he tried to avoid having eye contact with me & i dun know why i feel that he trying to run away from talking with me. I did trying so hard to become stronger when facing him & i tried to make myself as normal as i can when i was there.

BUt ..who can run from the facts, right? what done & said will always be that way. And i know I still can't change what he had done & said.

Life really unpredicted ...one time u be with him but suddenly it changed . The more pity to know that ...it involved with heart, my heart!] It been too much to accept, too much hurtful things involved.

The trip had been a real challenge for me...I followed the activities ..! I done caving to Gua Tempurung on the 2nd day . It;s a bad day for me before i got to borrow shoes frm Kak Reha. My shoes was 'koyak' suddenly. Besides that, I did followed the WHITE WATER RAFTING...yeah atlast!! I did it! Last time on the 1st trip, i didn't have guts to follow it cos im too aftraid of the water level & i afraid of ..i will be drown by it.

BUtiI I guess of should thanks Shaz ,& kak reha & the gangs for supporting me to go to rafting. MMg RockS Rafting! Never imagine it will be tat fun!! Even with the so fast water level & the rapids from it, we'll still manage to stay on the boat without turning upside down. haha..thanks to Jayz. Thank U again guys!!

It does cure abit of my headache since last night. Seeing him at the briefing session tat morning b4 the rafting start was actually really so awkward for me. I stand there with the paddle on my hand and all of my newfriends so concentrating on the explaination left me..feel so much of weirdness..in the air. I even heard some of the ladies talk about him too & it was not helping me neither, it was only bring the worst for me. But I tell myself tat time, I join the rafting bcos i feel i wanna have fun & laugh myself out ..so that I will let off my tense , my pain & relief it to nature.

the whole day had been a thrill for me.And it's rain the 1st time we arrived until the 2nd days when we want to get home. It's really 'sad' weather at Kampar. I got to know some new friends at there....i was so jealous to see them having fun during the SAturday night leisure time. I wish too I can drink something that can make me 'high' and forget all the 'messy' things in my head. We reached KL-PJ around 10Pm. Both my hp out of batteries and yups...it had killed the mind of my friend that tried to find me since the afternoon but can't reach me tat time. ..i'm really sorry, it's not puposely.concidentally....there was no line covered in that area where we stayed & since i put my hp into the safety box at ADeline, i was not aware that both hp was already 'kong'..aiyaaa!

- THE MOVIE-

On last Thursday night after office hour, we went back to have bath & change new clothes. and we off to ..'watch NEWMOON',the 2nd series of Twilight's saga. Yupps... My fave vampire series was finally up on screen, after waiting so long for the 2nd saga come out in cinema, finally it's here!! Yeah!! . The movie took abt 2 hrs to finish & most of the storyline did follow the storyline from the book. And it was not too much of 'changes' frm the original one-while I think the previous TWilight was more different from the original book that I read before. The 2nd one reveal more to Jacob's side cos he the one that being there for Bella when Edward left her. Mmm...I think it had making every ladies that watched it tend to do their decision whether to choose Edward or Jacob if they were Bella. Cos, words that I heard from the rest that watch it will said the same things -Edward ? JAcob? Which one more better? MOre gentlemen? More Gorgeous? More love Bella & deserve to be with her? Even myself had confuse on the judgement of these 2 guys that appeared in Bella 's life. The 'rasa bersalah' suddenly in the definition to choose the best among the best for her. But...hey, in reality..where got such perfect guys also right?? both good looking, both 'beast', both have sweet smile', both have their own supernatural 'talent', both hunky & most important ...both LOVE Bella! hmmm...if only I can be her..hah, yeah..i wish (impossible la!)

Well...yeah, today was my 3rd times watching NewMoon. Just now went out to watch it at KLCC TGV with my colleagues & I don't know why eventhou it had my 3rd times watching it, I still feel I will be available to watch it for next coming-unbored! hahaahhaha...crazy me i guess! The obsession of Twilight have returnnnnnn..!!!!

Just can't wait for 'EClipse' to start then...i think the 3rd sequence will be more challenging one. The book had also said alot of love drama appearance, so...expected to see some..mmmm..intimate scenes there between Bella with Edward & Bella with JACob..uhoooo!! I like it ...! I like it!! Just can't wait ...! Victoria will also appeared in 3rd one, so, more fighting & action also involved, so..i guess it will be more interesting parts then.

The part that I cried most was when "Edward' told Bella that he ill left her, and how Bella felt so devastated when Edward was gone. ANd then, the ending part when Bella told Jacob that 'She love him' ..but..she said ' Don't make me choose'...Coz it's always will be him(Edward) and it will be'. I feel pity for Jacob, i can see that Jacob was truely hurted by Bella's decision. Damn!! It make think of Jacob side pulak! iskk..I'm in Edward side lor but seeing JAcob being so sincere to Bella make me think, if in real life, ladies will be more comfortable with JACob's type ..i guess.

He's a 'Man' in a 'Boy' 's body & that's one good of a thing to know that guy like that will appreciated his love one more than anythings even he had to break the 'rules' of QUilettes just to make sure Bella is safe when they have this sort of boundaries to protect the human from the vampires' authority. ahhh...such a goood gentlemen & a loving person, He love Bella too much seem that he can' accept Bella to be turn into vampire.

okla enough of Twilight..then

-THE REVEAL-

A painful & hurted heart will always be the most weak things in me. Currently had feel it even worst. The guys had being with some one of a kind for me ..previously but i admit it had only bring a huge of disaster for me & myheart. It's like i have a hole in myheart now and i feel not very good.

I told my dear beloved friend on SAt about the things that she never know b4 this. For all these few mths since the last presence of him at here until the day he said those..hurtful words, I never can imagine myself telling myfriends abt wat actually happened to me. Maybe bcos i hated to have any issues with her anymore..cos I dun want to lose her too as my fren. I can't barely think of losing anyone for this time anymore..it's too hard for me to accept any bad things nowadays.

I was glad to have that talks and i cried infront of her for 1st time after 4 mths of suffering myself crying alone in the middle of the night till the morning rise. I did think that i will lose her too when the 1st time we had some arguements last time. I hardly speak up to her thinking that she hate me so much for letting her down & making her think that i had changed bcos i got sumone in my 's0-call' good life that time. But to tell the truth, i didn't even wanna changed myself. Maybe i was do drown by the 'love sweet' feeling that time, making me vulnerable to that love things i used to have that she think i was letting her go. Hell No....! I never think tat way!

I was ..devastated to even think back abt it again. I feel regret that it happened. How I wish sometime i can change the event, the time, days & people surrounding me.how i wish!

There are time when i realised how she care for me more than that guy care for me. Even my BFF know when the time to cheer me up ..& understand my feeling. She 's always be there for me. Only God can repay it as I said b4. The calm situation tat we having when we were 'lepaking' on SAt will always be my remembered days. NOw tat she had alot of newly friends had make me think that I am not the same Jenny that people got to know late. I even tried to talk & communicated..with my long lost friends but i feel the stressness over me, so down & sometimes, i see it doesn't come back to me like it used to.I t's just different ~! the differences matter now. I can't blame her..i can't blame the consequences that i might have if the relationship doesn't work., and guess wat, they are all true...-myfriends that being my advisors, my mentors & my guardian angels...are all true on what they said. I feel.....ashamed!

mm..that 's the matter when i gained someone at 1st but lost the other one after that. It's cruel..but I learned my mistakes..before & after ..all these explaination.

thank you for still being my...friendss & sister! even how worst my faces will be, how i look so pale & gloomy, You will always be there..!

e.eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.