I did cleaned up of my living room on SAturday..afternoon. I did arranged all the things in the living room just to make sure all the things changed. Maybe I wanna change the fengshui..and I wanna release somethings i kept deep deep down myheart for awhile. I always been thinking to 'clean up' my 'messy' head...by doing these..I did laundry too..yesterday. Alot of cloths to wash for the whole week.
There's been alot of 'events' going on thruout my so-call 'simple' life at here. I had tried out everythings..before. I had feel the happiness, sadness, laughter, smile, cried,the pain & hurt. Sometimes, I even thoughts that I can't 'survive' with these feeling, but here i am...surviving...and still breathing. I still have mylife..eventhou..the troubles still are there.
Maybe God has His Plan for me. I always..say to myself-i should be glad that they around. Yes! I feel glad all the time..that i still have them. Eventhou, I knew there are some part..of 'us' that are still not settle yet. I love them..I love mymum whose being the 'victim' of a situation that once upon a time..of my own Dad's doing.
God knows what I always prayed for mum...to see her happy and blessed everyday. I do love dad...even he had forgetten about me that being her very 'manja' daughter.
Since living in this large city..I just remember that I had being so 'different...' person now. I am not used to be the 'girl next door' ...,shy (of cos I still got it abit..with me),quiet, soft spoken, ladylike...type. Yeah...maybe because of the environment, people & experiences at here had make me feel so different now. But i'm still being Jenny that people used to know. I never change of what I believes. Maybe they saw me changed..but deep down myheart, I'm being the only person that stilll survive in this situation. As long as I didn't be a person that can harm anyone...and forget where I come from..
I an still being soft spoken sometimes, ...cos i'm still fragile..in anythings that hurt me.
Maybe I should be strong, i should make myself ...more independent...and ..tougher than i am now, So that I will not be hurt so painful in the end.
Money, Love, Friendship,Family, Work..and Life.is it so important that we can't survive without them?
I have had asked myself ...few times abt these & it does making me think alot.
I can't run....I have to face these things eventhou I can't totally settle it for good. I hope God can Guide me..
I learned the truth..currently and I have to face it. Mmg betul...sometimes..Life is unfair, Unfair because people who created it. Human whose being selfish..& stupid. So,whatever it is, human who need to realise it & start making changes. I learned it from some of my friends ...there being up and down ..between us, but I Never feel I need to end up our friendship. I dun blame when this thing happened, It had been ....alot of issues going on before. Maybe only time can decides for our faith..then.
No comments:
Post a Comment