This blog was suppose to be publish..but since few days ago, i was too sleepy to type the whole ..stories.
--> On Tuesday (2/3/10), I had my Lean Training the whole day. I came to the office early morning before 8.30am since my boss said they want to do my appraisal at 8.30am before i go to to training at 9am. But my boss forgot about it and end up she asked me to go back to the office during lunch time. Well, I did returned to level 25th during lunch time, besides, it's my teamleader- Reha's birthday so she had a little party at noon. And had my appraisal, but it was really...not a good feedback. Don't know why i felt this time, the rating was not that good, it was adecreasing rate from the previous one. I was so dissapointed. The reason? Bcos i failed to give an outstanding performance on the participation in any projects that been going on passed few months ago. I'm being passive. mm..I'm so devastated i guess ...but i just let my smiling face ....help me to calm myself down and show the so-call 'chillin' feeling that i feel that time. Hmm..i was..sad~:( I did understand my performace was not as great as before..since past 6/7 mths ago. I think it was due to ....my down time. The time.. i was having the mourn time for the heartbroken things..and some few problems that attacked me suddenly. Then..this is what i got from it..huh, my performance drop and I don't know how it will effect my vitamin 'B' evaluation later. Yeahh..bonus..~!
The other things..that happened lately, was the friendship issues. I got this irretating ..issue with my mmmmm .... friend. How i said i feel the loneliness after my BFF is not being there most of the time? Yeah...i know. i admit i'm abit..'manja'..but..it feel like i lost some of her to other new BFF now. I just know that her another BFF ..deleted me from her FB..and i feel uncomfortable with it!
She just dun understand how I felt when I saw they have this 'chemistry' to be together all the time. ..aiyoo, now i lose her to ...these new ppl. That's gud to know..if she really find a great friend & truthful one but why i feel so sad? Why i feel everytime i left out alone ...?All alone..
All i ever prayed for did happened, atlast ...she was happy now but it was me again who are not happy at all. I had ruined my own mood by being ..'childish' but i never think i could be like this. This attitudes soon will conquer me if I dun stop it. I feel that it had already control me. I always think that she wanted to 'punish' me for all that happened last 6 mths ago. Hei..wat the hell that I am....thinking..! Hopefully this..thing of hating that person will be over soon ..and hope that she will not making it more worst anymore.....that 'show off ' thgs in front of me..cos..it's the root of everthings. Blame me for feeling this way, but when....the differences already appeared in our ..friendship, these are the impacts from it. I didn't plan to make thgs worst but...it doesn 't work good on me and ....that 'lady'...~!
ARRRRHHHHH,.......!
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