RAYA DAY..

Today is the 1st day of Raya day. And cilla and me was left out both alone in KL. Everyone going back to hometown and we have to stay here back in KL where..i know...it's not our plan to stay here during this raya. For cilla, she was suppose to be back to KK with his family to celebrate the raya day with them and of course I want to go back too.HOw i wish..but due to some problem...i have to skip the wish for now. OH gosh..! it's so hurt to think of it.
Today, the whole day we stayed at home and ..trying to rest well and ..clean up but end up I was the only one left out trying to throw away some of the 'garbage' at my room. wanna throw out few thiings that didn't even use anymore, just to make sure, it clean abit..and easy to remove whenever we want to move out or goin back for gud in future. Cilla was falling asleep when I did the cleaning part this evening. Well..i guess she was really tired and ...kesian dia,her birthday pun teda pi kluar mana2 pun, jsut stay at home and enjoying the company of TV.hehehe..apa bole buat, budget...kan! budget la..~geeskk

During the cleaning up things just now I found out my old diary..where..I used to wrote down all the things about me during my college time at here. Some of it was really not a gud thing to remember back speacially those incident abt mydad,mistress, abt 'awie'...
I read some of the pages and..it remind me back of those days. I stilll cant believe i had those incidents already happened almost ...7 yrs ago??wow..i'm sure not really getting any younger. Am I only the one that still hanging thru these moment? Cos I think cilla maybe have her mind focus on different things now besides these old craps. I think even Awie have his..life with the one he love..now. He should be marry by now i guess, with Eva-his longterm GF..that was all the time actually being his trulove when while he just having some hanky panky with those 'stupidgirls' that believe..he was the one, well..that's one of the stupid girl i think.. used to be ME. That was the starting of my hurting era.
I got another hurting moment that making me realise i was not belong to a happy family anymore. It's the fact that i saw even some would say as normal but for me, it's just not!
But, it's a past. Which I hope I can just..let it go. I'm learning to let it go now. I'm learning. EVen how these years of 'pain' had bring me, i still trying to survive in it and God, i hope...that I can pass thru all these...'life test'.
God Bless..